Red Is Life

Correct Whiskey Pour

Wrong - Grab the rocks glass - drag it through the ice bin until full - grab the requested whiskey - count to four as you pour - allow for the illusion of the ice combined with whiskey to fool the customer into thinking he's getting more than he is - toss in a swizzle stick - place it in front of the customer - wait for the tip - Wrong -

Correct - Put the rocks glass on the bar - select the correct whiskey from the rack - pour the correct amount into the empty glass - add ice with the scoop until the glass is 3/4 full - place the glass in front of the customer - assuring him that he has gotten what he has ordered - don''t worry about the tip - quality service will be rewarded -

Refill - take the customer's used glass - leave seasoned ice cubes in the used glass - add whiskey - add "some" fresh ice - return glass to original position in front of customer -

No - this is not "written" in any bartender's manual that I am aware of - Yes - it was a unique pleasure to watch Walter at the Grand Havana Room prepare my Woodford Reserve and refill correctly -

CDC Copies FEMA

Last July we learned that when confronted with complaints of probable poisoning FEMA's general counsel "advised that we not do testing, which would imply FEMA's ownership of the issue.''

This week we learn the bosses at the Centers for Disease Control thought FEMA was onto a good idea as a Federal scientist testified before congress that they - ignored pleas to alert Gulf Coast hurricane victims about formaldehyde dangers in government-issued trailers and told him last year not to write e-mails about his warnings of potentially widespread health problems. 04/01/08 - AP - Ben Evans

Are the "bosses" responsible for these actions still drawing paychecks ? - Are FEMA and the CDC out to kill the victims of Katrina ?? - Let's hope the House Sub Committee gets to the truth -

It Is What It Is

RED IS LIFE is about wine - food - occasional ramblings about issues that are simply beyond comprehension - e.g. - FEMA in NOLA post Katrina -

Recent parsing of presidential candidate language by media commentators - having entered the realm of - "simply beyond comprehension" -

Hangover Advice #8

Red Is Life's eighth "Advice" posting on "Hangover" avoidance -

# 1 - Drink Water !!!

There are a slew of pills -

• GoodbyeHangovers @ 49.99 plus freight (one month supply)
• Chaser @ 6.59 plus freight (10 caplets)
• HangoverStopper @ 6.95 plus freight (24 pills)
• RU-21 @ 7.99 plus freight (20 pills)
• Cydrate Hangover Prevention @ 29.95 plus freight (30 pills)
• Alcohol X @ 39.99 plus insurance plus freight (30 pills)
• Uncle Rummies Hangover Relief @ 29.99 plus insurance plus freight (60 capsules)

Translation - you're on your own -

Amending the personal advice posted in last year's - Drink Water -

• Eat BEFORE you drink -
• Don't mix drinks -
• Don't drink mixed drinks -
• Don't drink to get drunk
• Don't drive -
• Drink water BEFORE you go to bed -
• Drink MORE water -
• Remember - there is a tomorrow -

Enjoy

You Can't Write Fiction This Good

Next time you want to open Chateau Petrus - but can't find a corkscrew -

Find a towel and a smooth wall. Wrap the base of the bottle in a towel. Hold the bottle horizontally and proceed to rhythmically pound it base -first against the wall.

Be firm,not violent. As the wine sloshes forward with each impact, it will squeeze into the neck of the bottle, creating a primitive water hammer. The cork will eventually be driven out far enough that you can grab it and finish the job manually.

How To Open A Bottle Of Wine Without A Corkscrew - Esquire Magazine - June 2007

Thanksgiving Rules

Chef called to ask - "what should I drink with my Thanksgiving Dinner?" -

"Red - Red - Red" - I replied - AND - remember the rules -

Absurd FEMA Fish Tale

Just when FEMA looked to be straightening out - this absurdity regarding a requested reimbursement by the New Orleans Aquarium - 17 months ago -

Air Pizza

Jet Blue Terminal – NYC – passengers loading for Orlando – i.e. – Disneyworld –

Woman waiting on line – reacting to Jet Blue’s policy of not providing food beyond snacks and soda with the flight – holding pizza to eat on-board – not the usual single piece package – instead – full size 18” pizza – in full size pizza box –

Two quick thoughts –

Did she share it with her fellow passengers –

Did she leave off the anchovies –

Absolutely Not About Wine

Anxieties rose as large snow flakes fell from the sky and thousands of New Yorkers rushed to their local markets to stock up on supplies (food) before the fury of the BIG STORM struck with its full force - Chicago was being buried - the storm raged in the background of a CNN newscast from Washington recaping the politics of Irag which seemed meaningless at the moment - Jetblue cancelled 50 flights so as not to repeat the disaster of a week earlier - even NY City Parking Violations cancelled Alternate Side of the Street Parking - in advance of the BIG ONE -

Made it home as the fluries intensified - cooking a warm comfort food supper - enough to last if the storm shut down the city - settling into a deep cushioned chair as the Oscars from sunny Los Angeles began - getting totally sucked into the broadcast -

The night progresses - took a look outside a few times - an inch - maybe two - but news flashes between movie stars reassured me that the store was about to hit - morning would be a disaster for those who would have to go to work - a joy for hundreds of thousands of kids who would get to stay home -

Marty got his Oscar - flurries still hitting the ground - sleep -

Awake at sunrise - glance outside - white but no mounds - let the dog out - an inch - maybe two - same as the night - no school closings - no tragic paralysis of the morning rush -

What will the media whip up for next weekend - Orson Wells - where are you -

What Happened To Knowing Somebody

"Knowing somebody" - used to be the sure way of getting a table at the "hottest" restaurant of the moment - add to that - opentable.com - and you could book the reservation online - provided the table was available -

Now - for $450 per year/ $45 per incident - primetimetables.com - promises to get you "in" - can the auction site - eFood.com be far behind -